Forced Open Feelings
by Kuyomi
Summary: Kallen doesn't know what she is feeling, but the threat of getting the choice taken away from her, helps her speed things up a little. - Kallen/Suzaku


**So I have exams, and have been studying a lot. So I didn't really have time to write the next chapter of "Dance class" but I was in the mood of writing a sex scene so yes, here are some! Dance class isn't ready for it yet! **

**Disclaimer: Nakedness and sex and what not so don't read if you don't want to read something graphic. RATED M!**

**This is a Kallen x Suzaku fic. To be honest it isn't the paring I ship, I like GinoxKallen, but with the idea I had, this pairing just worked! I started warming up to the pairing when I read an awesome fic about it, so do enjoy! **

**Umm yes, that is all I believe, OH! And this is a one shot btw so do not expect more :3 Umm anything else? Thank youuu for reading!**

**Kallen and Suzaku do not belong to me!**

**Also a side note – Let me know if details are wrong, because It has been a long time since I have watched Code Geass (Kallen is my love) so I may be wrong on some accounts. Well yes enjoy! Hmm also it is a bit angsty, and yes I am writing this little message to you as it comes to my head so it probably isn't making too much sense. But yes, without further ado, READ! **

_**Forced open Feelings**_

Kallen walked through Ashford academy with no real purpose. Lelouch had been killed and everything seemed to be alright again. She could act like herself at school, the word of her being the resistance's ace was well known yet she wasn't prosecuted for it. Kallen still felt like an empty shell even if her wishes had come true. She could live out in the open as herself, and even with her mother without being shunned, but she lost too much getting there.

Kallen assumed she loved Lelouch, so the sacrifices seemed worth it, but now with him gone. She didn't know whether it was. Kallen had been summoned to the student council room for a meeting, she assumed with everybody but there was no clear indication exactly who was going to be there.

Kallen slipped into the building her hair waving around frantically. Normally she would have to stop at a mirror to fix it, but now it didn't really matter whether her hair spiked up or not. She no longer had to pretend to be this frail woman everyone had perceived her to be, she could now be herself. She preferred it this way, but again something never left her mind.

Kallen stopped at the student council door and took in a deep breath before knocking. She had quit she thought, but they still called for her help frequently. Kallen didn't mind so much, since she hadn't had much to do now that the resistance was done. Kallen in the past juggled her life around yet it worked, and she was able to maintain good grades regardless, but now, now she had all the time she needed and to be honest she was bored. If she didn't have the burden of the past hanging over her, then she would probably be happier. The burden of not understanding, and since it was in the past she didn't have a hope to be able to.

She knocked and entered without waiting for a reply. She expected a full room of smiles at her arrival but all there was, was darkness. She saw a silhouette in the back but was unable to make out who it was.

"Hello?" She asked after a while getting impatient with the silence. She didn't have the patience for this kind of thing and whoever the figure was, had some explaining to do. She was not in the mood to be toyed with; she had never been in the mood to be toyed with.

"Sit down, Kallen"

Kallen's blood ran cold as she slowly did as she was told. She had not hoped to hear this voice ever again, the voice of that horrible traitor that did away with her first love and much, much more.

"Suzaku…" She breathed out silently, whilst sitting restless in her chair. He had gained such an important role in the resistance that she wouldn't make it out alive if she went against him, the new Zero. Normally she wouldn't care and do it anyway, but her recently reconciled relationship with her mother wasn't worth losing because of her bad temper and hatred for this man.

There was silence, but movement. Suzaku moved closer and now Kallen could clearly see his awkward handsome face, he looked older and more tired but he was still the same man as he was back then in the memories she swore she would forget but couldn't because his being had become a part of her entirely.

Kallen sat on the cold floor of her cell, doing as she was told. Eating, sleeping, and staying quiet. She was so very bored and had counted the tiles hundreds of times, yet she still waited, because he had promised. Lelouch had promised to save her from her captivity of the Britanians, and she would wait even if it was against her nature. She got visited frequently by people interested to see someone who wasn't considered a Britanian, a woman from the opposing team who fought on the same footing with no actual military practice. The pink haired girl visited often taking pictures but never saying anything. She was also frequently accompanied by the blond ditz Gino who was always smiling.

Gino did however once visit on very serious term, alone. Asking her to take her Britanian name and join him in a life of peace. As a response, she spat on the glass. Though Kallen couldn't hate Gino because he had stopped one of the knights of the round from getting near her with the threat of rape, but he didn't save her from _him_. From Suzaku, and she knew Gino knew!

All was calm, Kallen was pretty well taken care of and she really couldn't complain but she was itching. Itching to aid Zero in his dream to save Japan, to rid it of its name area 11. She was itching to help Lelouch.

It had been days and there was no sign but Kallen was a strong character and she would wait. One day Suzaku came back. With news. Shattering news. Shirley had been killed, and Suzaku wanted to know whether Lelouch was Zero again. In his hand was a little injection tool. Refrain no doubt. He would make her relive, horrible scenes just to get the truth out of her? Disgusting! He was disgusting!

However he didn't go through with it. Kallen stared at him in surprise as he kicked the little device away and left Kallen to her own thoughts again. She shook in fear because refrain was the one thing she could never amount to. That bastard took it and shoved it back into her face. That wasn't the last she heard of him though.

The next day Suzaku returned. Kallen watched him intently as he apologized. He apologized? What the fuck! If he felt so bad, he shouldn't have done it in the first place!

Her temper erupted and she got up letting her fist fly directly into his smug face. She let out all her anger on him, not just the anger of the stunt he pulled but also her anger of having waited so long without results. She was not a patient woman.

Kallen continued beating Suzaku without remorse, she wasn't even aware of it herself until she sat down angrily on her chair, her knuckles bleeding slightly.

Suzaku ducked his head down apologetically and made no move towards door of her cell but also no move towards her. She could run? The door was still open…?

"There that should be reason enough to put me to death?" Kallen hissed out at Suzaku who was still on his knees.

"I won't do that to you"

Kallen laughed menacingly no longer caring about what her actions could mean.

"You won't kill me? You won't kill me? Like you killed Euphemia, like you tried to kill Lelo-"

Suzaku cut Kallen off from her line, his hands tightly around her throat, causing her smile to widen sadistically, she had hit a nerve. She knew it wasn't true. Euphemia's death was an accident, however Kallen knew Suzaku blamed himself for her death.

"Did I hit a nerve?" Kallen managed to push out of her mouth with her smile. Her oxygen intake rapidly decreasing. Suzaku's anger was clear, good. Kallen wanted Suzaku to know how angry she was by forcing his anger to mirror her own. He had turned into a monster and she wasn't going to let him turn back just yet.

"Shut the fuck up!" He hissed into her ear causing Kallen to smile wider but wince at the action. She was no longer breathing and would die if Suzaku's grip did not let go even slightly. With Suzaku's other free hand he held Kallen's wrists tightly to avoid retaliation.

Kallen shut up like asked and slowly oxygen started to fill her body. Her throat burned, as air was passing through it but she showed no indication.

Suzaku attempted to compose himself but was failing miserably at the sight of that woman's smile. He held her wrists tightly in his large hand and stared at her. He didn't kill Euphemia, and he wasn't going to kill Kallen either!

Slowly in silence Suzaku let go of Kallen and backed away. He said nothing but stared at her. How dare she blame him for something Lelouch did! Lelouch killed Euphemia with his geass, so shouldn't Suzaku do something back? He didn't want to be like Lelouch however…

Suzaku gave Kallen a quick sweep of his eyes. The dress she was forced into suited her and showed off her nice legs, however the way she was sitting… At first Kallen sat quiet lady like, with her legs crossed however now she was clutching the arm rest of her chair with her legs wide open. Cloth covered her, however it was very seductive, but Suzaku was aware that Kallen did not realize this. Maybe this was how he could get his revenge? It isn't really Lelouch's level… he wasn't going to use refrain, just simply make a deal… They both win.

Kallen on the other hand was thinking about something else entirely. She was plotting how to get out. She had a plan but it wasn't exactly something she wanted to do.

There was more silence, both slightly embarrassed with their impure thoughts, the way out for Kallen, the way to revenge for Suzaku. Both had to admit it was better since they both found each other even slightly attractive.

Another few moments passed and both were sitting in silence. Kallen leant forward and onto the ground making her the same level as Suzaku. He watched her intently unsure of her actions. She was contemplating whether to make him angry again so she could make a break for it, or to seduce him. The latter wasn't exactly appealing. Kallen smiled her menacing smile again, opening her mouth to make another horrible comment but before anything could be said she was on her back with Suzaku on top of her. His face retorted in anger, he knew what she was going to do, or more what she had planned to say.

"Don't say a word" He hissed straddling her hips roughly. She was quite beautiful he had to admit. He was going to regret this he knew, but not _completely_.

Suzaku brushed red strings of hair from her face as he serenely looked at her. He felt like a completely different person, he couldn't help himself. He wasn't the type of person to resort to these kinds of things, but it had been so long… and here there was a beautiful woman that wouldn't fight back after his proposition. It was just one night.

Suzaku lent down and whispered softly in her ear

"don't fight back, it will be beneficial for you if you cooperate"

Kallen said nothing. She didn't know how it would benefit her, is it a risk she needed to take? Would it really help her? And… she wasn't entirely sure what Suzaku was up to, he was very unpredictable.

Suzaku lowered his face down her hers, his hand caressing her cheek lovingly. He gently pressed his lips against Kallen's and pulled back looking for her reaction. Sure enough Kallen caught on to what Suzaku was getting at.

_Wait a minute! I didn't agree to anything!_

Suzaku ran his hand over Kallen's shoulder, toying with the straps of her dress; he leant down again and pressed his lips against Kallen's again, this time rougher. Kallen squirmed under his weight but Suzaku kept her in her place. He was her rival in the Gurren but in real life he won hands down unless he wasn't fighting back like before.

Suzaku forced her lips apart with his tongue. He was trying not to think. He knew this was a bad idea, but he wanted it. He didn't know why but he did, but it was more like he needed this rather than wanted it.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Kallen stuttered out as Suzaku was starting to pull her sleeve off.

"Fuck! Get off!" She shouted again trying to push him off.

The room was filled with ragged breathing. Suzaku had repositioned himself on top of Kallen whilst holding her wrists. They stared at each other in silence. Kallen was raking her brain for something, anything to get her out. Would he let her go if she let him…? Kallen allowed her mind to think about the action she may be giving herself into. The idea caused a wet patch between her legs. Suzaku was very handsome. Very, very handsome. Kallen was a virgin but maybe this was the relief she needed?

Suzaku noticed her suddenly moist area and smiled. They both didn't want to admit that this was okay with them. Kallen blushed profusely and looked away from Suzaku, cursing herself for even allowing such thoughts to enter her head.

"See, now that's a good girl… stay still and we can both enjoy this" Suzaku whispered in a cooing manner, not sounding like himself at all.

Suzaku lowered his head to Kallen again and positioned his lips over hers, even rougher than before and entering her mouth with his tongue almost instantly. Kallen made no move at first but eventually she kissed him back, exploring his mouth with her own tongue after a while.

The outside world seemed to have disappeared until a loud cough pulled both of them back to reality. Suzaku looked up, his hands still pinning Kallen down, his legs still straddling her roughly. Kallen blushed again.

"You are needed in the conference room, I would have expected more from you, rather than playing around with some Japanese whore" The voice said.

Kallen looked up and saw a knight of the round she didn't know, but apparently he knew her, but the information was so very wrong.

Kallen glared at the man as Suzaku got up slowly. He said nothing. This wasn't against the rules and she was clearly not fighting back… though he did have her pinned down. Suzaku left without even a glance back towards Kallen. Of course the cell got locked and Kallen was again left to her own devices. Alone in the now dark room.

Kallen pulled herself to the corner of her see-through cell and sat there holding her head. She was such an idiot! Suzaku was the enemy! They could not do anything! She loved Lelouch! She thought? He wouldn't keep his promise to set her free anyway; she would have to think of a better way, she would go with her original plan and bolt for the door. Would that work? She would steal a knightmare and get away. Lelouch would be proud of her for being able to get out on her own.

Kallen fell asleep hugging her knees tightly to her chest. She hated this situation the most. She couldn't do anything; she hated herself for being weak. So weak she almost gave her body to that pig!

It was a couple of days before Kallen saw anybody at all but eventually Suzaku showed up again with her food. He seemed serious. He entered her cage, again leaving the door open, Kallen supressed a small smile at this.

"I'm not going to ask again"

"Oh? What aren't you going to ask?" Kallen replied intent on angering Suzaku.

"Is Zero, Lelouch?"

Kallen said nothing and looked away.

"IS ZERO, LELOUCH?" Suzaku said a second time, visibly angry. He was fed up with her lack of response. He wished she would be a little more cooperative.

Kallen again said nothing. Suzaku roughly grabbed her chin forcing her to look at him. Her eyes betrayed nothing. She tried to jerk away but he held her roughly.

"I. Do. Not. Know." She said slowly still giving no indication of the truth.

Suzaku's temper flared as he jerked her chin roughly. He needed answer and she had to tell him. Again Kallen's menacing smile took its place on her lips like it did whenever she was making him angry. His other hand grabbed her hair and jerked her head back. She said nothing, it wasn't her chance yet.

Suzaku placed his lips gently on her neck and sucked roughly causing a red blotch to appear. She tried to jerk away but his grip on her hair got tighter every time she resisted.

"There are ways of making you talk" Suzaku whispered with a fierce expression. He himself didn't even know what he was doing anymore. He wasn't really thinking.

Suzaku jerked at Kallen's dress ripping the front and exposing her to him, the plate of food falling to the ground from her lap. He stared for a few seconds to long. She had beautiful white skin, his gaze went up to her other endowments. She was shapely, more than Euphemia but he didn't want to compare Kallen to her. He felt an ache in his heart almost at the same time as he felt an ache in his trousers.

His head was telling him this was stupid but he went on anyway. This wasn't well thought out; it was a deep primal urge, instinct if you will. He needed her. He needed to do this or he would never get her out of his head. If he didn't take her he would go crazy, she would never leave his mind.

Kallen stared in horror and grabbed the two rips Suzaku had just made covering herself slightly. It was now or never. Kallen let go of her rips exposing her chest as she let her sleeves slip off her shoulders.

This was embarrassing! Thought Kallen, her face dyed a bright pink, but this was the distraction she needed. Suzaku had seen Kallen naked before on the island but even so seeing it again, more clearly and in this different mind frame definitely had a different effect on him. Suzaku stared at her white skin, his eyes filled with lust.

Kallen lunged forward and pushed Suzaku down; she made a beeline for the open cell door, pulling her dress up to cover herself at the same time. Suzaku however was quick and he grabbed her and yanked her back roughly, pinning her on to the cell wall with his own body as he used his free hand to close the cell door, locking it automatically.

"You aren't going anywhere, you know the deal, you sort me out and it will definitely benefit you in the end" Suzaku smiled, the menacing smile she had been using on him as he yanked her dress back down, pushing it into a pile at her feet. He pushed himself against Kallen her warm breasts pushing against his chest.

Kallen could feel his arousal through his trousers and she herself couldn't keep from getting slightly interested.

"Get the fuck off of me! I owe you nothing!" Kallen hissed trying to push Suzaku off of her.

Suzaku merely chuckled.

"I suggest you take my offer, or do you not want to get out of here?"

Kallen froze. He would let her go…

"That's a good girl" Suzaku tilted Kallen's head and this time she let him, he kissed her gently and she kissed him back. She needed to focus on getting out, and he was going to help her.

She lifted her arms up and dropped Suzaku's cape on the floor in a pile by her dress. He broke the kiss and pulled off his top, pushing his warm skin against hers. He was starting to get very impatient.

He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her again roughly, pushing her against the glass. His hand ran over her chest and down to her breasts, he took one in his hand and squeezed gently forcing a small sexy moan to escape Kallen's lips.

_If can get out of here… that is all I need, to get out. He will let me go. If I give him this, I can get out. _

There was a sharp tap on the glass and the guy for the day before stood smirking at the mostly naked Kallen and a shirtless Suzaku.

"Get the fuck out of here" he shouted pulling Kallen into him. He knew he wasn't being professional but in his defence, he didn't have much blood in his brain anymore.

The man merely laughed and made his way out the door. By which Suzaku kicked her chair out of the way and pushed Kallen roughly on the floor. The knight hadn't even left before Suzaku was already on top of her.

He was on top of her in an instant caressing each part of her roughly yet passionately. He kissed her lips lightly and let his lips trail down her body, stopping at her nipples. He sucked and nipped at them but couldn't help but smile with her reactions. Her moans were sexy and his trousers were starting to hurt.

His other hand covered her free breast and he caressed it lightly leaving more red splotches trailing down her stomach. He ran his hands over her thighs causing her moans to become ragged. She knew what he was going to do next.

Slowly he made his way up her thighs, leaving more red splotches, claiming Kallen as his own. Gently with his teeth he pulled off her sad excuse for underwear exposing her completely to him, causing another ache in his trousers. Kallen held her breath as he inserted his hand between her legs gently, watching her face for her sexy reactions. He played with her clit gently, rubbing it roughly and then gently. Her back arched as she was trying to get away from his hand. This was new to her. Of course she had pleasured herself, but this was different, this wasn't _her._ Kallen allowed a raged moan to escape her lips as he slid into her. He allowed himself to explore all the while causing her to become even wetter than before.

He was skilled, she gave him that. He was able to make each stroke feel better than the one before. Her moans got louder and more ragged and eventually she started panting. Suzaku smiled but he himself was having trouble composing himself at the sight. Kallen was completely naked and covered in a thin sheen of sweat, her back was arched and she was breathing heavily causing her breasts to bounce with her. Her mouth was agape as she watched him with lustful pleading eyes. He wanted her so bad right that second he wasn't sure how he was stopping himself.

"Fuck…" Kallen managed to choke out as Suzaku started to speed up. She was getting close he could tell since she was gripping at anything she could get her hands on.

Suzaku lowered his face between her legs, giving her a small lick before plundering in with his tongue.

Loud moans almost screams erupted from Kallen as he finished her off quickly. He pulled away as she rode her climax causing Suzaku's hand to be completely covered. He had replaced his tongue with his hand and looked at it perplexity. He hadn't realized how much Kallen was enjoying this either. He knew the only reason she was doing this was because of his deal but he also knew through a primal urge, she wanted him as well.

Suzaku stared at his hand a bit and then back at Kallen; she looked at him unsure but said nothing. He without really thinking wiped it across her chest leaving a sticky trail of her cum down her body. It was sexier then she could imagine and the aching in his trousers was now almost unbearable.

He shifted his trousers off feeling the relief of his hard member being released from its confines. He looked at Kallen and cupped her head in his hand and he towered over her. He lent down and kissed her.

"Wait…I don't think I can do this…" Kallen started trying to grab clothes to cover herself up. Now that her head was no longer clouded she realized what exactly was happening.

Suzaku was extremely turned on and he was in no mood for her to fight back. He merely grabbed all the clothes and flung them to the other side of the cell. He held her chin in his hand and kissed her roughly before hissing.

"You will not escape, it's too late now. You will be mine!" Kallen had never seen Suzaku like this, so possessive, so completely unlike himself. He had already lost Euphemia, something he wanted. He wasn't going to let Kallen get away. He wanted her and he was going to get her.

He pinned her down and got on top of her. He lowered himself slowly and pushed into her. Her face retorted in pain as Suzaku could feel her hot insides surround him. He let out a soft moan as Kallen herself accidently let a moan of her own slip.

Suzaku pushed into Kallen deeper, her moans returning to the volume they were before. She refused to look at him as he thrusted into her constantly. She couldn't avoid the little moans but that was the only satisfaction she was going to give him.

Suzaku's hand wrapped around Kallen's head forcing her to look at him, she glared at him but her mouth was still agape allowing moans of pleasure to fill the air.

"Kallen let yourself go. You know you want this as much as me, It will be our little secret"

Kallen looked at him but said nothing. Her skinned burned from his touch, her insides seemed on fire. A good fire. She didn't want to admit to it, but she never wanted it to stop.

Suzaku started to thrust roughly as he himself was starting to get close. He grabbed her breasts roughly as he slammed into her hard. Her moans reflected his own as they connected in a pool of passion and pleasure. Suzaku's face was soft and he stroked her cheek with his free hand. His other hand was moved to hold her hips as he continually thrust into her.

The edges of Kallen's eyes were starting to grow black as she felt his hard member continually trust into her. Her release came at the same time as his and they both rode their climax together. Ragged breathing was the only indication of the end and Suzaku collapsed onto Kallen, both their bodies flaming. It took a while before Suzaku pulled out. It would mean the end. She would go back to hating him, and he would have to keep his promise.

He hadn't really thought this through.

He lay on top of her and eventually their breathing slowed back down to a steady pace and neither of them said anything or moved for that matter.

Kallen stared up at the ceiling, silently cursing at herself for letting Suzaku take her virginity, for taking everything really. The resistance had been such a big part of her life, she had never even taken a liking to any guy, except Lelouch… but now she would be set free. Surely getting out on her own will be of higher favour than Lelouch having to come get her like he had promised.

Eventually Suzaku pulled himself off of her and lay quiet next to her. The silence was deafening as both were too awkward to say anything at all. He lay there for a while but eventually he got up and pulled his trousers on. He looked down at Kallen his face retorting in surprise.

Her stomach and thighs were covered in a thin layer of blood. Realization took over Kallen's face but Suzaku did not understand.

"Are you – Were you a virgin?" He said after a while in disbelief.

Kallen said nothing and turned away from his shocked expression. This was indication enough for Suzaku and he groaned loudly while shaking his head.

_Great… I'm even more of a rapist now! I took girls virginity whilst she was unwilling!_

Suzaku sunk down into a crouch whilst holding his head. He felt like an idiot. He knew he shouldn't have had sex with Kallen, but she did agree didn't she? I mean he wasn't that strong was he?

Suzaku looked at Kallen again, god she was beautiful. He wanted to feel completely guilty but he couldn't. She sat up with her milky white skin, the blood standing out against it. Her whole body was covered in purple blotches which were his doing. They were a trail from her neck all the way down to her thighs. Her wrists seemed slightly blue from his grip which caused Suzaku to groan again at what an idiot he had been.

Suzaku pulled on his shirt whilst Kallen still quiet pulled on her panties, attempting to wipe away as much of the blood and seamen as she could. She pulled on her dress afterwards but sadly it didn't cover her breasts at all, right, he got impatient and ripped her clothes…

Suzaku picked up his cape, at first intent on putting it on. She wasn't really his problem but at the last minute he chucked his cape at the girl and left without another word.

Kallen sat there stunned and only moved when she heard the door of the room her cell was in close. She pulled the cape over her, pulling it shut to regain some dignity. She didn't expect to be released right away but she did wonder how long it would take.

Again Kallen didn't see Suzaku for what felt for days. Was he coming back? Her food was delivered by Gino Weinberg. Who saved her before from the orange haired knight but this time he said nothing, even with the sight of Suzaku's cloak around her. A couple hours after Suzaku left the first day, new clothes arrived via one of the workers. It was still a dress but with a clasp at the front and this was even more revealing than the first. She continued wearing the cape because of this but also because it kept her warm. Half her also felt very comforted by the sentiment of having his cape. No matter how you look at it, he was the man who took her virginity. She couldn't not see the importance of that memory; she would always remember her first time.

It was several days before Suzaku appeared again. He entered her cell and said nothing. Kallen got up expectantly but this time he closed the door behind him, he had learned to because of what she tried. Kallen stood still unsure of what he was doing but once she was pinned to the cell wall again she understood. He had come back for more.

Kallen fought back but after a couple times of him visiting she realized she couldn't beat him. Suzaku came frequently to visit and all that would happen was he would have sex with her and then leave, there were never any words exchanged. If he got impatient and rip her clothes, new ones would arrive within the hour. Suzaku never took his cape back and Kallen continued to wear it. She was starting to wonder if he really was going to let her go, it no longer seemed likely.

_That bastard promised! _

Suzaku was hardly ever around, it was Gino otherwise and it had gotten to a point where he couldn't even look at her. Served him right for not helping her. This clearly was happening against her will, right? Or is wearing the cape making it look like she was willing?

Even with all that hate, she continued to have sex with him constantly and today was no different. He came in with her food, to be honest she expected Gino, Suzaku never came at dinner time anymore, always after. He put her tray on the floor and sat down waiting for her to eat. With him was a bag, Kallen couldn't see what was in it, but he left it outside the cell, so it probably wasn't meant for her.

Kallen ate her food slowly but never looked up at Suzaku. It was clear he was waiting for her to finish so he could take her. She couldn't say she didn't enjoy it, but the situation was less than pleasing. The sex, her body enjoyed. She couldn't help it. Instinctually she needed it as much as him.

Kallen finished her meal in awkward silence and pushed her tray back towards the door. She said nothing and didn't move. He had broken the promise, she felt no need to fight back anymore, and she was tired. Lelouch didn't seem to be coming for her either. She felt hurt and betrayed. A single tear rolled down Kallen's unwilling cheek.

"Kallen…" Suzaku sighed.

This was the first time he spoke in the last week. She had been in her cell for almost two maybe more, she wasn't really sure. Since then they had done it numerous times. Each time a service lady would bring her a glass of water and a pill. Well at least he was helping avoid pregnancy… not that it helped his case. He had taken advantage of her wish to get out and lied to her, not to mention he took her virginity even after she said no and tried to fight back.

"Kallen, look I never said I would get you out. I said it would benefit you" Suzaku said quickly looking away from Kallen.

Kallen was quiet for some time, her temper slowly rising.

"What the fuck? YOU BASTARD! Of course you meant for me to think you would get me out! PLUS! You did say you would get me out! You said 'don't you want to get out?' fuck you!"

Kallen grabbed Suzaku roughly by his collar, pushing him around roughly and angrily. She knew this was probably a bad idea but she was too angry too care.

Suzaku wrapped his hands around Kallen's and pulled her forward.

"I can't let you leave, I don't have the jurisdiction" He said with a tone that screamed authority.

Kallen said nothing. He would just overpower her like every time. What saddened her most was the ache in her heart. Was she getting feelings for Suzaku? Obviously not! He was holding her against her will and raping her every chance he got!

They sat in silence for a bit but eventually Suzaku got impatient and pulled Kallen forward, kissing her roughly. She wanted to fight back but all her will seemed to drain away. She had lost her way out because of this lying bastard! She thought he was honourable.

He had meant to release her, he had, but things got complicated when he was no longer thinking with his head. He could just one day leave the cell door open like he had planned in the first place but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

She kissed him back. She let her body move and emptied her mind. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he lifted her and pushed her against the glass of her cell. Her clothes were instantly shredded and his were discarded on the floor quickly. He was impatient. He hadn't been this impatient since the first time they had sex.

His shirt was on the pile instantly and he was back to kissing her roughly but passionately. He pressed against her firmly whilst caressing her cheek with his free hand. His lips trailed across her body this time making even more red splotches than before, causing a proper trail. Kallen started to unbuckle his trousers as well, feeling for some reason that she needed this as much as him, it felt final for some reason. His trousers dropped and Suzaku pulled away from his sucking across her body. Her neck was covered in red splotches, something she wouldn't be able to hide, yet most people probably knew anyway. She wasn't exactly quiet and the constant pills and need for new clothes probably gave her away.

Suzaku grabbed Kallen's thighs and holstered her up. He held her firmly and slowly lowered her onto himself. She yelped in surprise but he held her firmly, yanking her onto him quickly with an amount of force he hadn't used before. She couldn't help but moan loudly as he continued his quick pace, never stopping for a break.

"Fuck… Fuck…. Suzaku…" Kallen moaned as he kept his pace quick and continued to slam her onto him.

He smiled his pace quickening at the sound of his name, her back slamming roughly into the glass. Both their climax's came rapidly as Suzaku ran his hands gently across her thighs before pulling out and setting her gently back onto the ground. Normally however Suzaku would take his time with her and sometimes even lay with her as they calmed down. This time Suzaku started dressing quickly and that was when she started to hear the bombs.

"They have come for you" He said in a calm manner, now fully dressed. Out of his pocket he pulled a little pill, like the ones she had constantly been given.

"Take this." He said, getting ready to leave, but not before he shoved the little pill into Kallen's hand.

Kallen took it and said nothing, stunned. She stood there naked as he opened the door and grabbed the bag he came in with. Suzaku turned back again to her and placed the gentlest of kisses on her lips before throwing the bag at her feet and turning away. He left her without even another word. All the doors were left open.

At her feet lay the bag, its contents sprawled across the floor. _Her black knights uniform_.

Suzaku had known. He had known Lelouch would come that night, or even if he didn't. He had intended to let her go then. He was going to release her! He didn't lie after all?

Kallen was confused as she dressed herself in her uniform. It felt odd. Not real. Or more that the last month or so she spent confined was just a sick dream she had. She pulled on her shoes and looked back at her small cell. On the floor lay her shredded dress, but also Suzaku's cape. She grabbed it. She told herself that it was a gift to Lelouch to show her struggles but she never gave it to him. She never intended to keep it, but she did. She kept it close and when she felt scared, she would pull it out and wear it. Not because it was Suzaku's she thought, but because it got her through the horrible moments in her cell. It was her safety blanket then, so why not now?

Kallen left the cell with the little pill in her hand, she didn't swallow it, and something didn't seem to let her. She pocketed it and forgot about it entirely. She didn't get pregnant but the chance was there. Kallen never could explain why she did that. She was relieved when her period came, very relieved, yet she still didn't take the pill that day.

Lelouch never questioned Kallen about her bountiful hickeys around her whole body. Or more the ones around her neck and shoulders and lower thighs, those were the ones visible but she was sure C.C told her about the rest.

Kallen was whisked away and cleansed as soon as she boarded, to make sure for torture, but all they found were numerous amounts of splotches. Every woman who had seen her body looked at her with pity. Kallen said nothing. They wouldn't understand, she didn't understand! Soon everyone knew about what supposedly happened, and even Lelouch looked at her with a guilty expression but he never asked what happened.

Kallen felt horrible. He either thought she was raped, or she was a slut. Neither were good views. Kallen was raped, she was, but she allowed it to happen. Even still she was confused, she felt dirty and she could no longer get Suzaku out of her head. Every once in a while she shed a tears.

Then Lelouch died and she thought life could go back to normal, and she would never have to see the people who pitied her again. She definitely didn't think she would see Suzaku again.

Suzaku looked at Kallen with guilt, it seemed to consume him, but there was something else there… Happiness? Relief? Was he relieved to see her?

Kallen couldn't tell, she couldn't keep her eyes on his either. Otherwise she would feel her eyes well up. It had been quite some time since she had seen him and still she refused to sift through her thoughts about him. She wasn't sure what she felt, she thought it would be easier to hate him, but for some reason she didn't.

"Kallen…" Suzaku said slowly shuffling closer to her.

Indeed he was relieved to see her in good health and happy to see her being okay. He did sift through his feelings and in the past year he hadn't been able to get Kallen out of his mind. Even through all the drama and business, he had thought of her. He ended the resistance for her.

Kallen said nothing but the edges of her eyes were beginning to sting. She didn't want to cry in front of him but he was making it awfully difficult. She felt a weird flutter of relief when seeing him again, she couldn't explain it.

Suzaku walked around the table, Kallen watched him do it and said nothing, the tears started to fall slowly but she was afraid he would notice if she wiped them away, so she let them fall.

Suzaku stopped in front of Kallen and kneeled. He grabbed her hands and held them gently within his own. She didn't snatch them back. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Kallen began shaking. She was scared, but at the same time she felt secure. It was the same feeling the cloak had been giving her.

"Kallen…" Suzaku whispered again seemingly trying to find his words. Kallen gulped deeply. What did she want him to say?

"I'm sorry Kallen…"

Kallen sat stunned. If this was like the refrain stunt she would beat him up but she didn't feel angry… She felt happy he apologized… but also surprised. It felt like he didn't owe her an apology, especially after all this time, especially since she never decided whether or not she disliked it.

Suzaku took in a deep breath before plundering into his next sentence.

"I am being moved, far from here. I won't ever see you again except…"

Kallen said nothing still; her mouth was agape at the sudden news. Was she ready to let go of Suzaku? No! She wasn't. With this she realised she didn't hate him, she may even love him? But she would need more time to be sure. A lot more time. She wanted to see if she loved him or not, but now she wouldn't get the chance. Why did it have to be news like this for her to realize?

Kallen said nothing and lent forward. Her lips brushed gently against his, her hands on his neck. She pulled back and looked at him with an embarrassed expression. She wasn't sure if he felt the same, but otherwise why would he care to tell her about leaving?

He smiled at her widely, the happiest she has seen him in a long time, and not that she saw him all that often. He held her hands against his neck and gulped loudly again.

"Kallen, will you come with me?"

The room rang and Kallen's mouth dropped open again at the proposition.

"No" She said after some time. She only just got in a good place with her mother, she couldn't leave now.

"Does this mean… you do hate me?" He said looking very downhearted.

"No! I don't hate you at all, I think I- I think – I think I might love you" She screamed looking at her feet.

Suzaku again smiled at this.

"Marry me Kallen!" He said taking her hand in his and pulling out a little blue box. "I hadn't intended to propose just yet, but… if we can't be together just yet… please become my wife at least?"

Kallen nodded, and Suzaku slid the beautiful ring onto her finger. It was thin gold with a small shimmering stone. Perfect for her she thought.

"I ugh, I can't leave my mother, that's why. Plus I need more time, you know, to sift through my feelings. I mean I was very confused and I still need to be sure"

Suzaku nodded. It was going very quickly. Not two minutes before, Kallen was scared of this man. It took news of him leaving forever that she realized that it wasn't true; it was the exact opposite really. She had feelings for him she wasn't allowing herself to feel for him. It seemed so odd, she thought she loved Lelouch, but was that forced?

"I'll turn down the offer, to move I mean." Suzaku said smiling at Kallen. "I won't let you go a second time; I'll give you all the time in the world" Suzaku pulled her into his embrace. "I love you Kallen"

"I – I love you too Suzaku, always have"


End file.
